It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
