Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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