you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize