i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
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