It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
