im six kinds of drunk right now
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
