well I can't set my house on fire every night
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
