We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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