Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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