we're blogging at a bar
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
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Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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