once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
