i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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