1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you play pong handcuffed?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize