I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
