Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
