Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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