craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
