whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize