I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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