I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
