"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
