You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Randomize
