I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
