Me. At least after what I've been through.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
