just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
