This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
