So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
