i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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