Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
id be glad to
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
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I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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