Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Dignity is for republicans.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
