addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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