Dual....:-)
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
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