It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
