we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
