Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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