Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
