yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
