Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
We are all done wearing pants today
i think i just lost a toe
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
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