you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
