So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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