I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
why is half of my head shaved?
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
