i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
