Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
That reminds me...we need to get swords
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
