I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
