She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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