I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
