And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Who died my cat blue again?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
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