We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
