We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
