i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize