Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
