did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize