There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
