Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
