Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
You've changed since you got that strap on
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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