You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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