Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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