The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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