I didn't shave. On purpose
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Randomize
