Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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