just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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