dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
