How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
