well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
