I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
